As NFL coaches learned, Jay Cutler is uncoachable on new reality TV showSporting News — firstname.lastname@example.org (Michael McCarthy)
"Jay Cutler hates people, doesn’t want people in his house, and wants to do nothing all day. He is my spirit animal," tweeted one admirer Sunday night. With that, the surly former Bears quarterback started his unlikely second career as a reality TV star.
Yes, believe it or not, Cutler was the breakout star of wife Kristin Cavallari's new E! reality show, "Very Cavallari," according to fans and critics.
The same qualities that made him a poor field general make the 35-year old Cutler a scene-stealer on his wife's new show. He's selfish, sulky, unsmiling.
As anybody who watches "The Bachelor/Bachelorette" or "Survivor" knows, reality TV viewers love bad boys/girls who don't give a hoot about anybody but themselves.
And that was our boy Jay on Sunday night.
Don't forget, the low-energy Cutler gave up the second-string game analyst job at Fox Sports last season to make a disappointing comeback with the Dolphins. Clearly, Cavallari is sick of Jay hanging around the house, watching deer videos and slamming down a cooler of elk meat on her expensive kitchen counter.
But when the 32-year old Cavallari tries to gently push her hubby of eight years to, you know, get a job, Cutler is evasive.
“I’m not really looking to do a lot of work right now, I’m looking to do the exact opposite," said Cutler. As the New York Post noted, that will surely have NFL general managers clamoring for his services this offseason.
At another point, Cutler glowers at Cavallari's female posse as they troop through his kitchen to plan the opening of her new fashion store in Nashville.
Cutler's deadpan expression when one of Cavallari's colleagues, an ex-hairdresser, tells him she got her workouts in by waving blow dryers is perfect. It's as good as the "Smoking Jay" memes that were popular with Bears fans.
And don't ever, ever park on the grass near Jay's driveway — as one of Cavallari's poor minions finds out the hard way. The truth, as the NFL and now Cavallari have found out, is that Cutler is uncoachable. Deal with it.
The TV reviews for Sunday's "Very Cavallari" premiere came in Monday. The critics want more Cutler. Examples:
— Matt Bonesteel of The Washington Post said Cutler "steals every scene" in his wife's new show. The Post captures this classic husband-wife dialogue:
Cavallari: “But seriously, what do you do all day?”
Cutler: “I like to keep myself pretty free so if something does pop up, I’ll bounce right into it.”
Cavallari: “So you think you’re 100 percent done with football?”
Cutler: “I mean, I can’t say 100. Probably.”
Cavallari: “When will you know if you’re 100 percent?”
— Lauren Comitor of The Athletic writes Smokin' Jay is the "reality TV star we didn't know we needed." Notes Comitor: "Part of the appeal of Cutler on this show is the personality that Bears fans rarely got a chance to see in the quarterback’s eight years in Chicago."
— Jaclyn Hendricks of The New York Post says Cutler "finds his calling on K-Cav's" reality show. "Jay Cutler's transcendent performance on the #VeryCavallari premier (sic) is a beacon of unity that we all needed in these dark times," wrote one viewer.
— Big Cat of Barstool Sports wrote Sunday's premiere was a "tour de force" of Cutler. "That's my quarterback," wrote Big Cat.